Good morning readers. I’m in Florida today. Delray Beach to be exact. Here’s why I prefer Delray Beach to New York City:
There’s a beach in Delray Beach (as the name implies). There is no beach in New York City (at least none that I would go to),
The water at the beach in Delray Beach is usually warm and not too wavy. In the Hamptons the water is cold and wavy with an undertow,
I can run outside here in October, and I haven’t run outside in New York City for weeks. In fact, I can run outdoors here twelve months a year. The fresh air and blue sky is way preferable to the windowless gym in my building in Soho,
It’s warm here almost all the time. In New York City it’s dark and cold a lot, and winter hasn’t even begun to show himself (note that winter is a him… Delray Beach is definitely a her),
In Delray Beach I drive in a convertible. Convertibles make me happy. Cars with roofs don’t make me happy.
Everything costs less here. I prefer my house here (which is worth much less than my apartment in New York City). Tennis costs less, golf costs less, yoga and eyelash extensions and barre classes and eyebrow plucking and mani/pedis cost less here. Movies are less expensive and the theaters are nicer. Food isn’t as expensive, and neither is gas for my convertible.
I’m going to get my Florida real estate license. I’m going to try to start selling real estate down here soon. And, as soon as my nest is empty I am hoping to be here a lot, if not all the time.
Screw Soho. Screw the darkness in my apartment. Screw the bad weather and the mean people and the mean drivers when I’m riding my bike in New York City. In Delray Beach everybody says “hello” or “good morning” and smiles when they see you running or on your bike. They don’t yell at you or ring their bicycle bells or try to drive you off the road. Screw yellow cabs that never stop when you need them and then smell bad and go out of the way once you get inside. Screw subways. Screw Fresh Direct. Here I want to go to the supermarket. I can drive in my convertible and don’t have to carry heavy bags home on the subway, breaking my back and making big red indentations on my wrists. Screw not wanting to go outside from October through April (that’s October, November, December, January, February, March and April). By my calculations I don’t want to go outside for seven out of twelve months in New York City, and that’s more than half a year. What I do want to do is crawl under the covers with my dog and take a nap. In Delray Beach my dog will be able to go outside all the time. He will love it. I will take him for long walks in town and to the beach. He will lose weight and his back problems will be solved. He won’t be a chubby wubby any more.
I could sell my apartment in Soho and move to Delray Beach. With the money I make I can live here without stress. Oh… did I mention stress? In New York City I am stressed out and unhappy. In Delray Beach I am stress-free and happy.
What do you think readers?