As you may have read (here, of course, not in The New York Times or People magazine) I drove my old bicycle up to my daugher’s college recently. She needed a clunker, something nobody would steal (even at college). Of course, my tried and true bicycle was the perfect candidate.
So I drove it up.
I ride my bicycle almost every day. I take it to work. I exercise on it. We do errands together. Sometimes we even ride to movies and restaurants.
I had to buy a new bike. It is shiny and blue, with a very expensive lock and key. In fact, the lock and key cost almost as much as the entire bicycle. It was the cheapest bicycle in the store that had gears and brakes, so I picked it.
Today I took my new bike out for a ride. I forgot to bring the key for the lock. My old bicycle didn’t need a lock with a key, because nobody wanted it. I am sure that somebody would want my shiny new bike though.
A lock without a key doesn’t work very well. First stop… to see my friend Lori. No bike lock key, so she had to come outside. Second stop… shoemaker. Guarded her through the window, just missing a few close calls by shooting nasty leers at the wannabe bicycle thiefs walking up and down lower Sixth Avenue. Stay away bicycle thieves! I am watching you.
Next stop… Starbucks. Couldn’t stop actually. I couldn’t bring my bicycle inside, so I took it to my office nearby (where I had to go anyway) and carried it inside. I left her there and detoured to Starbucks for my daily dose of Venti Green Unsweeted Iced Tea.
Then we went to the cash machine. Again, I toted her inside.
After all of this nasty business was concluded we went out for a ride along the Hudson River. Remember all the times I mentioned that my old bicycle was so slow that everybody passed us? Fat people. Old people. Little children. People who look like they aren’t even trying to go fast.
Well guess what? It wasn’t the bicycle. Even today, on my shiny new bike, everybody passed us. Maybe it’s because I bought the cheapest one in the store and then loaded her up with a big metal basket, a kickstand (still a must have in my book), and this gigantic heavy lock (no keys).
Or maybe I’m just a really slow bike rider.