Think Things Can’t Get Worse? Well They Can

Seriously terrible week, and I don’t like to waste a day or even an hour feeling sorry for myself.  But sometimes when things don’t seem like they can get any worse… they do.

I like to say that I see the glass as half full (especially when it’s a big fat Super Tuscan) rather than half empty.  Life was pretty good early last week.  Maybe I shouldn’t have reveled in the eye of the storm, though I’m glad I did even if I was blissfully unaware (which I was).

I’m not going to tell my readers in detal what has gone wrong but I will say that it includes:

My friend almost dying during knee surgery (before she even had the surgery),

Work just not going as planned,

Too much and too little time on my hands,

and issues with one of my beloved children.

I know that I will get through all of this and hopefully fall back into my blissfully content state, but I am not there right now, right here, in this very moment.  I have shed more than a few tears this week and I’m not a depressed or teary woman.  I want to go to a stupid movie alone and eat a huge tub of fattening popcorn but I have too much on my plate.  I want to sleep long and peacefully, but when I do succumb to slumber I wake up because I’m:

freezing, or

sweating, or

suffering from nightmares for a change.

I miss my mother right now and she’s never coming back.  I love my friends but don’t feel like talking about this any more.  I am grateful for my new therapist as she has been a godsend in many ways.

I am getting into bed now, before 7 p.m., all alone but for my sweet but bad breathed dachshund Grandpa.  I miss my dad.  I need to visit him soon.

So much to do but not enough mental stimulation.  Starting a book club on June 5th and we have one opening left.  If I haven’t depressed you enough let me know if you are interested.  NYC only.  Women only.  We will be discussing deep and personal things… who knows… maybe the Fifty Shades trilogy will make the list once we all get comfortable with one another.

Hoping and praying (though I am not a particularly religious person) that tomorrow will bring some much needed relief.  I can’t wait for my glass to fill up again.  I am ready to dive in.

 

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About mallorylayne

midlife mom seeking meaning for the rest of her life.
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6 Responses to Think Things Can’t Get Worse? Well They Can

  1. ntkaram14 says:

    Hoping things go better for you tomorrow. I am sure this miserable weather is not helping things.

  2. SusanH says:

    Thinking of you. Your blog has made me smile on my down days. I pray for your friend’s recovery and hope you are feeling better soon. You are a great and talented writer. Sales has its ups and down just like everything else. If your children are healthy the rest falls into place. If I still lived in NYC I would love to be in your book club. I bet it is similar to the one I was in when I lived in NY. The one I have now is great but not the same as my old one. I hope tomorrow brings you a smile. You have inspired me to start a blog. I will be getting it together in the next few weeks. Thank you for being an inspiration to me.

  3. Jeff Schweon says:

    Feel better. Better times will come back. And the weather will start to improve on Friday.

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