I Want to be a Kardashian Sister

The only time I seem to watch “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” is when I’m at the gym, and they are seriously entertaining! Having grown up with two brothers and no sisters, I love watching how the three elder sisters and their two younger stepsisters interact.  They are always having so much fun! I want a sister!!!

Being a Kardashian seems like real fun.  They work hard, though, which makes them more likeable than a lot of reality t.v. subjects. 

Today I was watching an episode while I tried to work “out” the horrible back spasm that I got yesterday.  You know you’re getting old when your back goes out without you doing anything… and I mean anything.  I wasn’t bending.  I wasn’t lifting.  I was just breathing when I was hit by a severe back spasm.  Four Aleves later, I was still unable to stand up straight last night when I went to a screening of “The Millionaire Matchmaker” reunion that Stacy Kessler was hosting.  Stacy is adorable and so are her friends.  Unfortunately Stacy’s big part doesn’t air until next Tuesday, so it looks like I will be attended Stacy’s MM Reunion for a second Tuesday. 

But I digress…

The episode of The Kardashians today had Kris (the mom) decide to buy free range chickens and bring them home so that she can feed her family healthy, natural foods.  The family thinks she’s crazy, but of course they all take the drive to the farm, where she picks out the prettiest chickens in the coop.  They are black and white with “little red things”.

I have been to chicken farms and they smell horrible! These chickens were no different, and the girls (and Bruce Jenner, Kris’ second husband) are all disgusted by them.  The chickens don’t want to be held — Kris seems to think they are puppies at first — and the family runs around trying to catch one wily chicken with a net (real animal-friendly, huh?).

The chicken eggs are not a hit with the family.  Everyone rejects them, calling them “mealy” and “strange smelling”.  Even the dog won’t eat them.  And, the chickens poop all over the house, adding insult to injury.  Two of the girls put the chickens in Kris’ bathtub, which I found quite amusing.  This is the kind of thing they do that makes me want to be a Kardashian sister.  I want to run a store with my sisters, selling clothing.  I want to come up with little tricks and schemes with my sisters.  I really should have had a sister.  I guess that’s why I love my girlfriends so much.

The chickens flew the coop in the end, and I watched their cute brother Rob cry because his girlfriend left for a “Cheetah Girl” film shoot in India for three months.  How sweet to see a young man crying because he is so in love (let’s not mention that they have broken up and he admitted to cheating on her while they were dating… so much for true love I guess).  

Kris hired a gay black stylist for Bruce, saying that he looks like a “homeless L.A. man” and that he is an embarrassment.  The buy comes over and takes Bruce in the car to buy new clothing.  What does Bruce do? Leaves him in the car and stops at his golf club to talk to his trainer. 

Good for you Bruce.  Don’t let all those women walk all over you! I do have to say though, that your wife is not wrong: your plaid farmer’s shirt and matching sneakers are not attractive.  Once you go shopping with your stylist I think you will find that you like what you see when you look at yourself in the mirror.  And looking good can only mean one thing…

More sex.


About mallorylayne

midlife mom seeking meaning for the rest of her life.
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