Whassup Rachael Ray?

Rachael Ray is a sweetie on t.v.  She has great energy and a beautiful smile.  She can whip up a meal in under twenty minutes, which, in my book, is a true talent.

But…

What’s up Rachael Ray?

Let me begin by saying that I love you.  Everybody does.  However, you need some help.  Do you have a new stylist? I know you have a new hairstylist, and frankly, it looked better before.  Your cut and color was nicer when Rodney Cutler was cutting you.  I’m not sure why you left him.  He is the sweetest man ever, and talented to boot.  He wants you back.  We want you to go back.

Also, what happened to your clothing? You are dressing as if you are heading to an evening holiday party every morning, though we watch you at 10 a.m.  It looks weird. 

And… you need to lose some weight.  I blame part of this on your stylist (who must be new).  He or she is dressing you in all the worst possible silhouettes for your body type.  They are playing up your pear shape rather than your thin top, your pretty shoulders.  It is scary to think what you will look like after the holidays if you look like this now.  It is time to:

Cut down on the EVOO.  I recommend the Light EVOO, or better, still, how about some I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Light? Totally fat free.  Replacing your EVOO with this for just one month will probably knock at least five pounds off of your small frame.

Exercise? I know you’re busy, and frankly, it is more important what goes in your mouth, but you may want to try my trainer Friday.  He’s fabulous and will ride his bike up to you, day or night.  Maybe we can all chip in for a holiday gift pack for you… I’m willing if anybody else is.

We love you Rachael, but you need to look in the mirror.  Nobody is going to want to eat your recipes if they think they will end up looking like you do.  I hear that Jenny is looking for a new spokesperson and you would be perfect! Think Valerie Bertinelli.  Think Kirstie Alley.

Think Rachael Ray.

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About mallorylayne

midlife mom seeking meaning for the rest of her life.
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