Jerry Seinfeld was fabulous on “Live With Kelly” today! I wish he could be the new co-host. He was so funny. He did a video of himself interviewing people on the streets of New York City, asking them if they had anything to say to Kelly for her first day solo, sans Regis (boo hoo, I’m still crying Regis!). He also asked them who they would like to see replace Regis, and many of them suggested him — Jerry Seinfeld that is.
“No, I meant somebody they can afford,” he quipped.
You see? This is why he would be great! He is so funny, so quick on his feet. And… he doesn’t need the money, so who cares? It would get him out of the house, which would probably make Jessica happy.
Did you catch him talking about their new puppy today? So classic. His wife texts him from a puppy store, where she has gone totally at random. They were not planning to buy a dog. They did not confer with breeders. They did not discuss breeds, or names, or training. Actually, it sounds like they don’t talk at all (just kidding).
“Isn’t this puppy cute?” Jessica texted, along with a photo of a little dachshund.
“He is kind of cute,” Jerry texted back.
A few minutes later…
“We got him,” Jessica replied. “His name is Carlos.”
And that’s the way it goes in so many families, right people?
Jerry doesn’t care. He says that once you’re married with children you might as well just buy a mule, or a puppy, or whatever. You see? I told you he’s funny. He would be a great co-host, don’t you think?
Kelly was hysterical too. She said that their dog only “makes” (you know, goes to the bathroom) on the one expensive thing in their entire apartment: an area rug that Mark sprung for. (I think my dog went to the same school as their dog because he put my best rug out of commission also. It is currently residing in my storage bin. The more money I spend to have it cleaned the more he likes to “make” on it). Kelly’s family adopted the dog from the North Shore Animal League. They were told that she was trained (yeah, right… trained in what? “Making” on the rug?). They built an outhouse for her on their outdoor space, because she refuses to get her paws wet. They also have real grass put in weekly so she can “make” on it. Kelly joked about how this dog was “in the system” and now won’t get her paws wet.
So now you see why I had to get to the gym at 9 a.m. sharp. It was a “really big show” today, as Ed Sullivan would have said. But, lucky for you, I have paraphrased almost everything.
Vote for Jerry!