Make it to Break it?

Do you ever feel like the companies that you buy or lease products from purposely make them to break at a certain time? I do. It seems like if a product is under warranty for two years it breaks after two years and one month. This has happened to me so many times I can’t even count them.

My most recent example is my convertible. I only like convertibles. I love to drive with the top down as often as possible. My dad taught me this when I was a young girl and he bought his first convertible. It was a tan Mercedes 450 SL if I remember correctly, with a brown top. Very pretty. I believe he was forty when he bought it, and it was a welcome change from his usual Lincolns and Cadillacs. We would ride together with the top down even when it was cold out. The windows were up and the heat was blasting. This is one of the best lessons my father taught me.

I have had a convertible for a while now. I love it, and I too, ride with the top down, windows up and heat on when it’s cold out. When it’s very hot I ride with the top down, windows up and the air conditioning blaring. It’s great. I love the feeling of the open air when I drive, and I try not to think about carjackers or homeless people begging who are harder to avoid in a convertible than in a regular car.

My lease ends in less than two weeks. Guess what’s broken?

My convertible top: estimate $1,500 to fix. This top has broken twice before but guess what? It’s no longer under warranty!

The mirror on the driver’s side is broken and they want $400 to fix that. It is basically missing a screw but it’s no longer under warranty.

A piece is missing from the inside of the driver’s door. I have no idea where it is.

There is a big piece of plastic lying in the back of my car and I don’t know where it came from.

One of my tail lights is broken. Estimate: $450.

I need some body work. I left my car at the dealer for a week but they never got back to me with the estimate.

I went to pick my car up yesterday. Guess what I told them to fix?


I took the car to a local guy in Tribeca. He is charging me $1,500 to fix everything. He thinks he can even fix the convertible top (I am hopeful but not expecting this.)

I am paying to have everything fixed so I don’t have to deal with the dealer and their insane prices.

Guess how much they charged me to give me the estimates (without the body work, which was a major necessity)?

$150! What a bargain. I got to drive uptown, drop it off, take a cab downtown, call three times to be told that I would receive a call from the body shop (never received it), take another cab uptown (be without a car for almost a week), and pay $150 for nothing.

I love America. Everything breaks at the last second.

My dad’s girlfriend had a great idea. She told me to leave the keys in the car and walk away. She said that somebody would come by and steal the car and then I wouldn’t have to worry about any of this. I loved the suggestion and considered it for three days, but then decided against it for a few reasons:

I don’t want to go to jail, and

Nobody would want the car anyway.

See you at the Jaguar dealership…


About mallorylayne

midlife mom seeking meaning for the rest of her life.
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