First of all, I really miss my grandmother Sylvia, my Nana. She died when I was still in high school but I think about her and miss her all the time. Nana was my best friend. She loved me unconditionally in a way that didn’t happen again until I had my first baby.
I miss my mother. This is now my second Mother’s Day since she died and it makes me so sad that she is gone. The only relief is that I don’t have to worry about what to buy for her, because she pretty much hated every gift that I ever gave her with the exception of:
Mallomars (really… I would send them from NYC to Vegas because they’re distributed seasonally and our window was longer);
Chocolate covered orange peels… but only the ones from Teuscher that cost more to ship than the actual candy cost; and
Books. Books were a lifesaver for me in terms of gifting for my mom for many years… until she got a kindle and I was left to rack my brains again, knowing that she would hate whatever I sent.
She hated the first gift I ever gave her, which was a shocking pink hand mirror that said “Sock it to me Baby” on it. I saved for that from my allowance and was dying with excitement when I gave it to her. I was eight years old. She looked at it and said, “Clearly you bought this for yourself, so just keep it.” I was shocked. Truly, I had shopped and shopped to find just the right thing and had been certain that she would love it. Wrong.
Flowers — forget it. She was allergic.
Clothes — too big, too itchy, too trendy, didn’t need it, didn’t like it;
Jewelry — if it wasn’t over five carats she wasn’t really interested.
I could continue, but I will spare you.
Mommy, I tried. I was pleased with the Mallomars and chocolate covered orange peels. Towards the end I know you had way too many Teuscher chocolate covered orange peels to keep up with. I sent them faster than you could eat them. I miss you Mom. I wish I could see you today and give you a gigantic hug and tell you how much I love you.
Luckily I have a number of surrogate mothers. First of all, I have my boyfriend’s mother Janet. She was a friend of my mother’s before I was born. We are having dinner together tonight: me, Mark, his parents (love them both madly!), and my children (who adore his parents too). She is the closest that I have to a mom now.
I also have Aunt Joanne, who was my mom’s best friend. I love her madly. And Janet’s friend Diane. My Aunt Andrea, who is really more of a sister than a mother, but flesh and blood so I will count her since nobody else I have mentioned is a true relation.
I was lucky in 1994 when I gave birth on May 5th. Mother’s Day was three days later, so I got to celebrate my first Mother’s Day with my gorgeous little girl when she was a tiny little infant. Seventeen years later I can’t wait to celebrate with her (and my son of course) later today.
Having a mother is great, but nothing beats being a mother. I feel so lucky today that I can celebrate Mother’s Day knowing that both of my children are thriving as gorgeous, healthy young adults. I love you guys!!!
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms out there, especially (these are in no particular order so please don’t take offense if you aren’t first):
By the way, Janet loved the flowers we sent!