A Mother’s Musings on Mother’s Day

First of all, I really miss my grandmother Sylvia, my Nana.  She died when I was still in high school but I think about her and miss her all the time.  Nana was my best friend.  She loved me unconditionally in a way that didn’t happen again until I had my first baby.

I miss my mother.  This is now my second Mother’s Day since she died and it makes me so sad that she is gone.  The only relief is that I don’t have to worry about what to buy for her, because she pretty much hated every gift that I ever gave her with the exception of:

Mallomars (really… I would send them from NYC to Vegas because they’re distributed seasonally and our window was longer);

Chocolate covered orange peels… but only the ones from Teuscher that cost more to ship than the actual candy cost; and

Books.  Books were a lifesaver for me in terms of gifting for my mom for many years… until she got a kindle and I was left to rack my brains again, knowing that she would hate whatever I sent.

She hated the first gift I ever gave her, which was a shocking pink hand mirror that said “Sock it to me Baby” on it.  I saved for that from my allowance and was dying with excitement when I gave it to her.  I was eight years old.  She looked at it and said, “Clearly you bought this for yourself, so just keep it.”  I was shocked.  Truly, I had shopped and shopped to find just the right thing and had been certain that she would love it.  Wrong.

Flowers — forget it.  She was allergic. 

Clothes — too big, too itchy, too trendy, didn’t need it, didn’t like it;

Jewelry — if it wasn’t over five carats she wasn’t really interested.

I could continue, but I will spare you.

Mommy, I tried.  I was pleased with the Mallomars and chocolate covered orange peels.  Towards the end I know you had way too many Teuscher chocolate covered orange peels to keep up with.  I sent them faster than you could eat them.  I miss you Mom.  I wish I could see you today and give you a gigantic hug and tell you how much I love you.

Luckily I have a number of surrogate mothers.  First of all, I have my boyfriend’s mother Janet.  She was a friend of my mother’s before I was born.  We are having dinner together tonight: me, Mark, his parents (love them both madly!), and my children (who adore his parents too).  She is the closest that I have to a mom now.

I also have Aunt Joanne, who was my mom’s best friend.  I love her madly.  And Janet’s friend Diane.  My Aunt Andrea, who is really more of a sister than a mother, but flesh and blood so I will count her since nobody else I have mentioned is a true relation.

I was lucky in 1994 when I gave birth on May 5th.  Mother’s Day was three days later, so I got to celebrate my first Mother’s Day with my gorgeous little girl when she was a tiny little infant.  Seventeen years later I can’t wait to celebrate with her (and my son of course) later today. 

Having a mother is great, but nothing beats being a mother.  I feel so lucky today that I can celebrate Mother’s Day knowing that both of my children are thriving as gorgeous, healthy young adults.  I love you guys!!!

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms out there, especially (these are in no particular order so please don’t take offense if you aren’t first):

Janet,

Joanne,

Andrea,

Diane,

Tricia,

Sharon,

Peggy,

Stephanie,

Lexi,

Kelly,

Susan,

Lauren,

Ruthie,

Maxine,

Meredith,

Maddie,

Judy,

Grace,

Annie,

Jayne,

Linda,

Pat,

Nancy,

Kerri,

Marla,

Wendy,

Edie,

Stacey,

Marilyn, and

Zenita.

By the way, Janet loved the flowers we sent!

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About mallorylayne

midlife mom seeking meaning for the rest of her life.
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4 Responses to A Mother’s Musings on Mother’s Day

  1. Having a mother is great, but nothing beats being a mother.
    A hearty “hear, hear!” to that. I’m not sure what other gift could come close to matching the gift of being made a mother. 🙂

    This is also my second Mother’s Day without my mother. There’s a weight in my heart (tempered by what I wrote yesterday), but it’s helped by the fact I’ll have my own little one to hold tight once it’s a little lighter out. One of my two sisters is pregnant right now and another is TTC, so I hope that for our third year without our mom, we might each of us know the unparalleled joy that is motherhood.

    Also? Thanks for reminding me to send wishes to my own surrogate moms, which I’m going to do immediately after posting this!

  2. What a warm loving post….. thanks for the well wishes. You too, Mal, Happy Mother’s Day!

  3. Peggy says:

    Thanks Mallory…Glad u had a great Mother’s Day too!!!

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