Everybody is moving to Malibu.
Soon New York City will be vacant. Malibu will be filled with New Yorkers who have become sick and tired of the fast pace and stress of the city, people too old to bear the cold and windy winters any more.
In Malibu we will be outdoors every day, 365 days a year. We will run on the beach. We will ride our bicycles. We will do beach yoga down by the ocean. We will hike and walk and live healthy lives. We will recognize our fellow displaced New York neighbors and say hello, large smiles with big white teeth shining out at one another.
I liked the house that Bethenny Frankel rented. Wonder if it’s for sale. We will all be fighting over that house.
Our dogs will be romping on the beach, happy to be out of the concrete jungle where they grew up.
We will wake up at dawn every morning, anxious to watch the sunrise from our beachfront homes. By nine we will be coffee’d, exercised, ready to face the day — a day filled with sunshine and warm weather every day.
Okay. Time to wake up from my reverie and begin my NYC day. Did I mention that a reporter from the New York Times is coming over this morning? They have chosen my apartment to be featured in a brand new real estate column. I am very excited about this. The sooner I sell this place the closer I am to…