Play Together, Stay Together

When I was younger I thought that couples should have their own space, their own hobbies, their own separate time/vacations/nights out.  The older I get though, the more I realize that couples who play together seem to stay together.

Men don’t want to be alone.  They like to have a woman by their side to have dinner with, to go to a show with.  They like to run with their woman, to get a massage together. 

Don’t go it alone girls.  Men get lonely.  Look at my dad.  He was scooped up within five months of my mother’s death.  He was lonely at dinner every night with only his kindle for company. 

The happiest couples I know are together almost all the time.  They visit their children together, they vacation together, they go to sporting events and concerts together.  And they have fun with each other! Remember that your partner is supposed to be your best friend, not the person you dump on when you’re feeling down.  Way too many couples take their problems out on those closest to them, which is really the worst place to do it people. 

If you find yourself not wanting to be with your partner you need to look inside and figure out what to do.  When my marriage was falling apart I started working on weekends so that I didn’t have to spend time with my husband.  I also started running marathons, and training would keep me out of the house for hours each day on the weekends.  Clearly I was running… running away from a relationship that was making me miserable. 

It’s one thing if you really are miserable with your partner, and then you need to decide what to do about it.  Couple’s counseling? A romantic weekend getaway to see if you can rekindle the flame? Or maybe a realization that you aren’t making each other happy and need to move on.

But, if you have the fundamental love and respect for each other, don’t squandor it.  It isn’t easy to find that special person.  I know, because it took me 47 years to find my special man.  I just had a 3 day weekend with him and it was heavenly.  We barely spent a moment apart for the entire time, and I was lonely this morning when I woke up and he had returned to work. 

 Appreciate what you have before you don’t have it any more.


About mallorylayne

midlife mom seeking meaning for the rest of her life.
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