Update on the NYC Real Housewives

Alex McCord has gone crazy! Honestly, how did she become a model? She isn’t pretty at all with those thin lips, and her stomach has a little pouch sticking out lately.  She says she likes what she sees when she looks in the mirror: maybe her mirror is a two-way and she doesn’t realize it, and she’s looking at Gwyneth Paltrow in a focus group room or something.  Anyway, look at Simon.  She obviously likes looking at him too, so there’s no accounting for taste.

I really shouldn’t be mean about people’s appearances because they can’t help that, but I can talk about their behaviors.  Alex is awful! LuAnn said it perfectly when she said that Alex has found her voice and now she needs to lose it.  Once she found her sea legs in St. John, finally being accepted into the NYC Real Housewives inner circle, she started spouting her opionions and now she cannot seem to stop.  She gets herself into deeper and deeper trouble every time she opens her mouth, but she is completely unable to zip her thin lips.  Thankfully she has Simon to call every time she gets herself into more and more trouble. 

Alex is a rehasher.  If there’s one thing I hate it’s rehashing.  Discuss it once and then move on.  Life is too short to linger on these petty matters.  She says she isn’t going to rehash and then what does she do?

She rehashes.

I’m loving the new housewive Cindy Barshop.  She is downtown and cool.  Maybe now that she has fired one of her nannies she will want my children to help with babysitting for her adorable twins.  Then I could meet her and maybe we could have lunch together at Antique Garage.  I loved that she couldn’t fire the “mean” nanny herself so she called her brother Howie and asked him to do it for her.  Classic.  She’s tough at work but a softie at home.

Cindy says she has everything but I would like her to find a great man.  I know she has Howie, but that may be part of the problem.  He fills in so many of the roles that a partner normally does that she probably isn’t looking for someone as hard as she should.  Howie’s great, but a little sex couldn’t hurt, right Cindy? After all, you are still a young woman and I’m sure you have needs like the rest of us.

The last housewife that I’m going to talk about today is Kelly.  I am now officially “in love” with her.  She is so gorgeous that it’s unbelievable.  You know I think that Gwyneth Paltrow is beautiful, but I would rather look like Kelly Bensimon.  As a brunette, I have always leaned more towards the darker look, and she is absolutely stunning.  I love her face, her body, and especially her hair.  She is seeming so much less frazzled this season, and that makes me happy.  At the end of last season she actually seemed a bit crazy, but who knows how much of that was real vs. editing?

I find it incredible that Kelly cannot find a man when she is so verbal about wanting a husband and a father for her girls.  What is wrong in this city if Kelly can’t find a man? She’s:






A cool mother.

Come on men!!! She’s available.  Where are you?


About mallorylayne

midlife mom seeking meaning for the rest of her life.
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