I Need a GPS “in” My Body

Yesterday was a very busy day for me.  I showed apartments downtown, then uptown, then downtown.  Honestly, I was having trouble remembering where I was half the time.  Maybe that’s how I ended up on 125th Street when I was supposed to get off the train at 86th Street.  One of those little express vs. local train mistakes that I make regularly.

Then, after eight hours of running downtown/uptown/downtown again, I took the downtown subway to get home, when I was actually going uptown.  Ended up on Wall Street.  Since I live in Soho I am used to taking the subway downtown when I go home, but really.  I have lived in the city for 30 years now.  It’s pathetic.

I need a GPS.  Not in my car — I have that.  Not on my phone — I have that.  I need it inserted into my body.  You know how they can put microchips in your pets in case they get lost so you can locate them? Now i-phones have them.  Please… make one for me.  I am so tired of ending up in Brooklyn when I’m supposed to be in Tribeca, finding myself in Queens when I’m going to the Upper East Side, or ending up in the Bronx when I’m going to 90th and Amsterdam.

When I show apartments I am often asking my customers for directions.  You know what they say about people who are directionally challenged.  If we say “left”, go right.  If we say “straight”, turn around. 

Let me know when you hear about a human GPS.  I am even willing to serve in a test panel.


About mallorylayne

midlife mom seeking meaning for the rest of her life.
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