Things I didn’t do in the first half of my life

There are so many things that I wanted to do up until now and I have come to terms with the fact that none of them are ever going to happen.  Here is a partial list of :

Win the Little Miss America pageant (or even enter it).  It was hard to hear that I had “no talent” whenever I implored my parents to let me audition.  I could play Fur Elise by Beethoven after all.  Surely that qualified?

Sit down at a piano or with a guitar and play beautiful music by ear.  (I was at a Neil Young benefit concert the other night at Carnegie Hall, listening to so many performers sing so beautifully (this on the tail of watching American Idol tryouts for the 10th season) and it came to me… I am not musically talented.  I will never be musically talented.  I just have to enjoy listening to people who have the gift and stop fantasizing about starting a band or even taking up piano or guitar lessons for the umpteenth time.)

Be a rock star or a movie star.  (But not a miserable one like the guy played by Stephen Dorff in “Somewhere”).  How come some jobs are so much fun and pay so much (like rock star, movie star, top tennis pro), while others are so much more important in the scheme of life but pay so miserably (like teaching or working in a nursing home)?

Run a sub 4 hour marathon.

Have a third baby.  (I’m so over it now and waiting for grandchildren to spoil, but giving birth to my children has been the most significant accomplishment of my life.  I still can’t believe they “came out” of me.  Creating life is truly a miracle.)

Sing beautifully.  I know — you get the picture already. 

Be a top 10 tennis player.

Finish my PhD in Counseling Psychology and have a thriving private practice.

Publish my first novel before I turn 30.

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About mallorylayne

midlife mom seeking meaning for the rest of her life.
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